Falling Apart
by The.Female.Lupus
Summary: *Putting on Hiatus as I re-write.* Thank you for everyone patiently waiting and reading, I love you all and I'll try to finish soon. *TheFemaleLupus
1. Chapter 1

I lay in bed shaking and sweating. It's a cold sweat, considering my body feels like it's on fire from the inside out.

"Joe? Joe where are you?" I hear the deep, rumbling voice of my brother as he calls angrily from somewhere in the house.

"I'm in here," I groan out, curling up into a ball a little more.

I hear heavy footsteps then my door burst open,

"Johanna Allison Uley! I got a call saying you ditched school . . . " His angry tone fades and he trails off, seeing my shaking form.

He rushes over to me, and puts a hand on my forehead. He curses under his breath.

"Sorry I ditched Sammy," I say quietly.

He smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Eyes that hold worry and sadness.

"It's okay Joey," I smile at my childhood nickname.

He gets up with a promise of being right back. I curl up as far as I can go and close my eyes, trying to relax. I hear Sam come back in, and something really cold presses against my forehead. I open my eyes a little, and see him kneeling down pressing an ice pack to my forehead. I smile at my big brother and he kisses my cheek.

After a few minutes, I finally stop shaking and sweating. But my body still feels like it's on fire. Sam smiles down at me, and removes the icepack. I pout slightly, and he chuckles,

"You should go take a cold shower," He suggests, but there is an edge in voice.

A slight ordering tone. I usually get pissed when he tries to order me, but I don't really want to fight him now. Actually, a cold shower sounds really nice right about now. I nod,

"Good idea," He smiles at me, then stands up.

I get up to, and get some clean clothes that aren't drenched in sweat. A pair of grey sweatpants with LA PUSH HIGH SCHOOL written down the side in white, and a black tank top. I turn around and see Sam standing in the doorway, smiling sadly at me. I walk over to him, and wrap my arms around him. His instinctively go around me,

"How come you always know what to do to make me feel better?" Sam asks, though it's muffled by my long black hair.

I chuckle,

"Because I'm your sister," my voice is also muffled, but it's by his massive chest. Sam laughs.

See, I'm tall, especially for only being sixteen.

I stand at 5'9. But Sam is 6'3. He had a very large growth spurt about a year ago. He also gained a lot of muscle. I was worried he was on steroids, but he promised me he wasn't. Jared, Paul and Embry had the same things happen to them. They now stand at 6'2, 6'1, and again at 6'1. I remember them when they were all scrawny teenagers. Sometimes, it's hard to belive he's only twenty-one.

I let go of Sam, and kiss his cheek. He smiles at me, his dimples showing. I chuckle, and walk around him, and into the bathroom.

I start the shower, and look at myself in the mirror. I have muscles, a six-pack and everything. It's small, but noticable. I mostly have them from climbing trees and running thought the woods on my 'walks.' I have a long, strong, slightly curvy figure. My naturally straight black hair going down to my waist. It's a cool kind of black that if it hits the light right, it looks somewhat blue. My narrow nose, and strong jaw complement my heart-shaped face. My big eyes completing the picture. My eyes are my favorite feature, being black. Like literally, my eye color is black. They are a little lighter than my pupil, and when I cry, they turn grey. Sam says I got them from mom. But I wouldn't know. The only memories I had of mom, I repressed. She died when I was six and Sam was eleven. We were raised by the elders, because our asshole of a father totally gave us up.

I sigh, and go over to the shower. It's cold, but not freezing. I get in, and my skin starts to cool. I relax under the water.

* * *

I walk downstairs, my wet hair hanging loosely over my shoulder. My arm is slightly wet, but it just water, so I don't really care.

"Johanna? Is that you?" A sweet, smooth voice asks from the kitchen.

I smile, and round the corner of the kitchen,

"Em, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Joe?"

She just chuckles, and we hug. I raise an eyebrow at her,

"He had some business to do." She says, answering my unasked question.

I sigh, and flop down one of the table chairs.

"I hate it when you guys hide things from me." I mumble, more to myself.

Emily heard it though, and smiles sadly at me. I avoid her eyes. I know for a fact that Sam and the boys are hiding things from me. But after multiple arguments with Sam, I just dropped it. We used to argue a lot after he started changing. I was pissed at him for leaving for two weeks without telling anyone. I was pissed at him for cutting his hair, and getting a tattoo. And I was _really _pissed at him for breaking up with Leah, giving her no reason. Leah and I are really close, but I learned to love Emily. I am kind of the mediator between the cousins now.

"Sam said you weren't feeling well?" Emily asks, trying to change the conversation.

From the way she said it, I know Sam already told her. But I nod anyway, not wanting to start a fight.

"Hey Em?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you need help cooking?" I ask with a slight chuckle in my voice.

We both look at her flour, water and egg covered clothes. Emily laughs, holding her hands up,

"I guess I do."

I smile, and get up. I take over for a little while, so she can get cleaned up. I clean up the counters, and organize everything. Emily comes down stairs, and looks at me in relief. I smile, and we start baking.

We are on out second pan of muffins, when Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry run in, laughing and joking with each other. Emily and I shake our heads chuckling. Sam goes over to Emily, hugs her, and starts kissing up and down her scars. Emily laughs, and I laugh as the bogs gag. But then they start making out,

"Okay, okay, break it up!" I say disgusted, "Em and I have to bake and you guys making out is not letting you eat any faster!"

They finally break apart, and Sam playfully glares at me. I stick my tongue out at him, and he does it back. Everyone laughs at our brother sister banter. He let's go of Emily, and we get back to cooking.

* * *

Halfway through dinner, I start to feel sick again. I stand up, and the boys all jump back the movement was so fast and sudden. I sprint to the bathroom. I lean over the toilet, my left hand holding my hair back, and my right holding me up. I fall to my knees as the contents in my stomach involuntarily come up. I faintly register the door opening, but I can't move. A dull ache spreads through my spine. Someone sits next to me, and rubs my back soothingly.

I spit out the small amount of bile left in my mouth, and flush the toilet.

My knees hurt from staying on them so long, so I slowly move them. I sit myself indian style, and lean back against the wall. I take deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart.

My whole body shakes from the strain.

I look at the person next to me, and see Emily. I smile a little at her, and she does back. I glance over at the door, and see Sam leaning against the opposite wall. His arms crossed over his chest, biting one of his nails. His eyebrows knitted together. Worry and sadness written all over his face. I smile a little at him,

"You're not going to make me go to school are you?" I ask jokingly, trying to cheer him up a little.

Emily and Sam both laugh, and I'm glad to see some of the worry leave his eyes.

"No," Sam says chuckling.

I start to get up, but searing pain shoots through me. I fall back down, and put my hands on either side of my head.

"Ow," I say weakly.

I close my eyes tightly, and next thing I know, I'm off the ground. I jump a little in surprise, and look up at Sam. I playfully slap his chest,

"A little warning maybe."

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I sigh, and rest my head against his shoulder. I can hear the boys asking if I'm alright, but I'm too far gone to hear Sam's reply. Everything fades, and I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_I run through the forest. My senses are heightened to the point of abnormality. I run on four feet instead of two. I don't know why, but it just felt . . . right. I smell saltwater in the distance. I can hear playful barking and the soft pounding of paws behind me. _

_Then, everything fades. I stop at a cliff's edge. I recognize it as the cliff the boys and I dive from. But, this is the higher point. The point where at the bottom, sharp, jagged rocks stick out from the dark water, and the waves crash violently against the wall. __A sickly sweet, overwhelming scent fills my nose. I gag, trying not to hurl. Footsteps sound behind me. I spin around, and see three pale, beautiful people with red eyes. They smile evilly at me. __Something in the back of my mind keeps screaming for me to run. Keeps screaming that these people are danger. __But instinct tells me to fight. And the instinct is too strong to ignore. __The three form a half circle around me, trapping me between them, and the cliff edge. _

_I snarl, and crouch low. The blonde man in front of me chuckles. _

_"You know, I've always wanted to kill one of you. Just to see what your little friends would do." _

_I growl,_

_"And, since you're the 'Alpha's' sister. That just means more fun for us." The dark-skinned man with the slight English accent hisses at me. _

_I bark menacingly at them. _

_"C'mon wolfy baby, attack us. See what happens." The red-headed woman taunts._

_I snarl, and back up a little. My foot slips off the edge, and a momentary panic sets in. But I don't fall. My adrenaline kicks in, and I feel like I could take on an army. __They chuckle, share a glance, and attack. They pound their fists against my bones. They grab my skin, and tear at it. I yelp and howl in pain. I call for help as my bones crack under the pressure. I scream for help, hoping and praying someone will hear me. I try to fight back, but they move to fast. I am outnumbered. I know they are killing me. I need to get away. I try to push past them, but they throw me backwards. My back legs and hips fall over the edge. I struggle to get myself up, but they hold me back. The three of them, push me again, and again. And right as I'm about to fall over the edge, one word flashes through my mind,_

_Vampire. _

* * *

I fly forward, a scream caught in my throat. I sweat and shake uncontrollably. I put my hands over my mouth, and try to control my breathing. I yank the covers away from me, and slowly get up. My whole body shakes, and it's hard to walk. I take deep breath's and open my door. The wood creaks slightly over my uneasy footsteps. I quickly walk down the stairs. My hands grip the wall and the hand rail for dear life, afraid that I will trip and fall down the stairs. I nearly fall flat on my face when I reach the bottom stair. But I catch myself just in time.

I stumble over to the kitchen, my whole body feeling numb. I take deep breaths. I'm still sweating, and shaking. My heart races in a speed that seems to fast for a human. No matter what I do, nothing seems to work.

I feel this tug at my heart and something, I don't know what, makes me look out the screen door, to the forest. The crescent moon shines bright, illuminating the forest. My yard it empty, but off about half a mile away, is the forest. It surrounds the house, like a protective wall. I feel the sudden urge to run out to the forest. To climb the trees and smell the scents.

I am about to, when a familiar voice speaks up from the stairs,

"Joe? What's wrong? Are you okay?" My head snaps to the stairs, and I see Sam standing at the bottom of the stairs.

He looks worried, but I see a glint of sadness in his dark brown eyes.

"Couldn't sleep," I say quietly, straightening out and removing my hands from the counter.

"You alright?" He asks, taking a couple of steps toward me.

I smile a little,

"I'm fine Sam."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I say exasperated.

"I don't believe you," He says, taking another step towards me.

I notice his posture, stiff and tense. Ready to pounce or run, I can't tell. He watches me warily. His hands are slightly out, in a calming gesture. He approaches me slowly. He's acting like I'm a wild animal, going to attack if he makes the wrong move.

"And why wouldn't believe me?" My tone a little harsher than the last time.

He stops moving to me,

"Because I know when you're lying. You're a horrible liar."

"Oh," I scoff angrily, "But you're a great one, _aren't you_."

He flinched a little, and moves towards me again. I tense, and what I do next, surprises me. . . I growl. I _growl _at him. An animal growl, that seems like it came from deep within me. It sounded like the boys when they fight with each other. Or when they are frustrated. They growl.

Sam immediately backs away a few steps, and I relax.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks me softly but warily.

"Really? You want me to start listing things?" I snap harshly.

I don't wait for an answer,

"You got completely ripped out in a week. You cut your hair. You broke up with Leah. You left for two weeks. You hang out with boys you never used to. . ." I trail off, looking at him angrily. He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off again.

"And the worst part? Sometimes, you just disappear, and come back hours later. I am so worried about you, and you don't even care! You just blow me off, saying you're going to work!"He looks guilty, but I'm on an angry rant. And I can't stop.

_"How stupid do you think I am!_" I yell the last part, and he backs up, looking hurt and shocked.

I don't even notice how badly I am shaking until I stop talking. I look like I'm having a seizure. My breathing in erratic, like my heartbeat.

"Joe, calm down." Sam says soothingly.

I growl, and he cusses.

"Joe get outside," He orders me.

I growl again, and he sighs.

"**Joe, get outside!**"

The way he says it, with so much power. So much force. I literally _can't_ disobey it. And, before I know it I am quickly walking outside. I stop in the middle of the yard. I turn around, and right before Sam says something, an excruciating pain shoots through my spine. I cry out in pain, and fall to my knees. It feels like someone is slowly crushing all my bones, and banging sledgehammers against my skull. My hands fly to the sides of my head, and I press on my skull, trying to get the pain to go away. I tightly close my eyes. The pain shoots through me again, and I scream. I know Sam is saying something to me, but the words seem morphed together. I can't decipher anything.

My heart beats so fast, I think it's going to explode.

My skin feels like it's being ripped off. My bones feel crushed. I know I'm dying. I know I'm slowly, painfully dying. All I can think is, _what did I do to deserve this type of death? _

The pain abruptly stops. But, before I can do or say anything. It comes back full force. I feel myself explode. I scream in pure agony. But, it gets cut off, turning into an animal roar.

I open my eyes, and everything seems heightened. My smell, sight, hearing, even my taste. The pain is completely gone. I notice I am tall. Really tall. I look down at myself, and see paws.

_Paws?! What the hell?! _

**Easy Joe, calm down. **

My head snaps up, and I see a large black wolf. We are almost the same height. He is only about three or four inches taller than me. But that voice, that voice is so familiar.

_Sam? Sam! Sam what the fuck?!_

**Easy, easy. Yeah it's me. **

Suddenly, I get sucked into someone else's head, and I see through another person's eyes. The person is running through the forest, heading . . . here? Then, I snap back into my head.

_What the hell was that? Sam why are you a wolf?!_

**You accidentally go sucked into Paul's head. You're a wolf too. **

_What?!_

Suddenly, a picture of a black wolf comes into my head. It's about two shades darker than Sam. _Like my hair_.

**Exactly like your hair. Move a little to the left? **

I do, and he smiles,

**Yeah, it looks blue if it hits the light right. **

I laugh,

**Your eyes are the same too. **

_Awesome. So are you going to explain?_

**Well, you obviously know about the legends.**

_Yeah? _

**Well, they're all true. The vampires are real too. Me, Jared, Paul and Embry and now you are wolves. We protect La Push from vampires. Except the Cullens. We have a treaty with them.**

_Like in the legends?_

**Like in the legends. **He agrees.

_Okay, explain to me, why now? And why can we talk through our thoughts?_

Sam explains everything to me. The telepathy. Him being Alpha. The Elders. Patrols. He showed me what each of the boys wolves look like so I know. He even explained Imprinting. He explained what happened, and why he dumped Leah. I felt kind of bad for screaming at him, but he told my it was okay.

But I know what's not okay.

_You've been hiding something this big from me!_ I growl at him.

Guilt flashes through his eyes, and he avoids my glare.

**I wanted to tell you- **

_No Sam! I'm your sister! You should've told me_!

Before he can answer, a loud howl rips through the night.

We glance at each other and start running.

I hear through the packmind, that there is another new wolf.

His name is Jacob.


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N This story follows from New Moon where Jacob first phases.)**

Joe_ POV_

_Sam? Isn't Jacob Billy's son?_

**Yes.**

_Doesn't that mean he'll be Alpha?_

Sam sighs,

**Yes, but only if he wants it. **

I hear Jacob's panic through the pack mind. Everyone tries to calm him down. But he just keeps getting more pissed. Sam and me slide to a stop in the treeline just outside the movie theater.

**_Silence!_ **Sam Alpha commands.

Everyone whimper, but immediately quiets. I listen as Sam explains everything to Jacob. Or Jake as her prefers.

Wait, wait, wait! The Cullens are vampires!

**Um, yes. **Sam says confused.

Oh my god! Bella is dating one of them! Or at least she was! I need to tell her!

**Jacob! You will do no such thing! **Sam says sternly.

He explains how we will need to stay away from everyone, well mostly everyone, for about two weeks. To get our anger under control.

Then, he drops the bomb,

**Jacob, you are supposed to be Alpha. It is your destiny as great-grandchild of Ephraim Black. **

What?! I'm ALPHA I thought that was you!

**Not if you want it.**

No! No I don't. Okay? NO!

Sam nods his head,

**You cannot see this 'Bella.'**

I need to tell her!

**She probably already knows.**

I'm going to tell her!

Sam sighs. I can tell he doesn't want to order him, but he has to,

_**I order you not to go near Bella or talk to her!**_

Jake falls under the Alpha order. We all do.

**Alright! Everyone phase back except Paul and Embry. You have patrol. I need to take these two back to our house to get clothes. **Sam says sternly.

Everyone nods, and I get a couple 'Hi's.' I exchange few words with them.

We both follow Sam back to our house. It is silent, except the occasional chatter of Paul or Embry. We get to the house, and I flop down in the grass, avoiding everyone's eyes. I feel their pitying eyes on me, and I growl, glaring at them. Their heads all snap in the other direction.

Moments later Sam comes out with some cutoffs and a shirt for Jake. And some black basketball shorts for me with a black T-shirt. I grab them with my teeth,

"Just imagine yourselves as humans. You know, _not animals_." I snort, and trot over to the treeline.

I find a place behind a pretty large tree.

_Okay. Feet. Hands. Fingers. Toe- _And suddenly, I have toes.

I smile, and quickly put my clothes on. I thank god Sam had the sense to put a bra and underwear in there. I round the corner of the tree, and see that Sam and Paul are sitting on the porch waiting for Jake and I. Everyone else is inside eating. I walk towards them. Sam's head snaps up, and he checks me over. I glare at him, and he hastily looks away. A moment later, I hear the snap of a branch behind us. I whip around, and see Jake.

He looks extremely hot in his cutoffs and his tight T-shirt. He looks up, and our eyes connect. He freezes. I feel this odd feeling run up my spine. It's like everything else disconnects, and it's only him and me. It's not gravity holding me here, it's him. It's so powerful, I fall to my knees, and so does he.

I can't seem to look away from him, and neither can he. I hear a deep, rumbling growl from behind me, and a few 'oh shit's.' The growl sounds again, and my head whips around.

I crane my neck up, and see a furious Sam.

"Sam don't," I say threateningly.

I have not clue where it came from. And I have no clue why I want to protect Jake so much. But I feel like I need to.

Sam doesn't even spare me a glance. He starts marching towards Jake. Jake, wh is quickly backing away. Looking confused and terrified. I growl,

"Sam stop!" I notice everyone is shocked into silence at me trying to _order _the _alpha. _But this Alpha just happens to be my brother, and he is not going to hurt Jake. Not if I'm around.

I grab Sam's arm, and he throws me backwards. I fly through the air, and phase midway. I land in a crouch just before the bottom stair on the porch. I hear Paul jump back. I snarl, and run towards Sam. He is too furious to even notice me. I tackle him and he snarls.

He phases under me, throws me off him. I fly into a nearby tree. I hear something crack, and I whimper in pain. I look over and see Jake phase, and jump in front of me.

**You imprinted on my little sister! **Sam roars.

Jake freezes.

What?

I sigh. I'm about to say something to him, when the next thought enters his mind. The next though, that breaks my heart.

But I'm in love with Bella.


	4. Chapter 4

**BLAME MY MOTHER AND HER 'SURPRISE' ROAD TRIPS! I cannot tell you how sorry I am!**

* * *

_Do you ever wonder what it feels like to have someone punch a hole through your chest?_

_Take your heart, and squeeze it like a rope is tied around it? _

_No? Well I do. _

_At least now I do. . . ._

* * *

_Sam please stop! _I scream, begging him to stop as he attacks Jake.

I jump in between them, but Jake lunges right as Sam stops. He rips into my side. I howl in pain. I feel the pack-mind grow, and suddenly Jake is lifted off me. I look over and see Paul, someone who's always been like my brother, in front of Jake. Shielding me from him, even though he isn't attacking. He actually looks in pain. I take a deep breath, feeling the skin on my cuts pulling together. And the bones going back in place. I whimper in pain. Sam stands in front of me looking at me, with a depressed, sad look in his eyes.

_Sam, it's okay. Just please leave it. Please! Please just leave it!_

I beg, slowly standing up. Sam whimper at my pleading tone.

**Bu-**

_Sam I am begging you! Please just leave it!_

After a moment, Sam finally nods. I smile a little and nudge him, but he just gives me a pitying look. I sigh as Sam orders everyone but me to phase back. I know he wants to talk, but I'm _really _not in the mood.

**Too bad. **Sam says to me, hearing my thoughts.

I sigh again, and just wait. Jake comes back out from behind the trees, then Embry and Paul right after him. Paul goes up, and brushes right past Jake, glaring daggers at him. Embry just shakes his head sadly at Jake. Who looks confused.

**Johanna, you listen to me, and you listen close. **My large head immediately swings to him. It's been about a year since he used my full name And last year, he caught me making out with my 'friend' in my room, on the bed. Bad times. Very, very bad times.

**You. Cannot. Fight. The. Imprint. ****It will hurt both of you. I ca-**

_Sammy. He's in love with someone else. _The words rip the remaining bits of my heart to pieces.

He gives me a pitying, sad look.

**Johanna. I've never seen a bond as strong as yours. You can't just . . . Ignore it. **

_I can try._ I say, my voice strong and void of any emotion.

Sam sighs, dejected, and nods.

**C'mon, you need to cut your hair, you look like a puff-ball.**

I growl playfully, and shove him with my hip. He chuckles, and shoves me back. But, I can't keep the aching pain from my chest.

**Okay, don't phase back yet.**

_Yeah, I figured that. _I say, looking at the shredded items of clothing.

I hear Sam chuckle, before he lets out two loud barks. My hearing tunes into the house, and there is some shuffling and closing of drawers and doors. Then, Emily and Paul come out. Paul carrying Sam's clothes, and Emily carrying mine. I give her a wolfy grin, and she smiles right back. She sets my clothes down, and I quickly phase back.

I am putting my shirt on, and I notice my side is slighty sore and bruised. I rub it, and wince slightly.

"It'll heal fully when you eat." Emily says, looking at my side closely, in her motherly way.

I smile at her, and kiss her cheek. Her face lights up like a kid at Christmas, and I roll my eyes. I lightly grab her hand, and mumble,

"Don't flatter yourself Em."

I hear her chuckle, and we come out from behind the trees. The slight pressure in my hands almost immediately goes away as Emily bolts to Sam as he comes out from behind the trees. Paul jogs over to me,

"Hey, you okay?" He looks me up and down.

"Yes bro, I'm fine."

I've taken to calling Paul 'bro' in the past few weeks, because well . . . . he acts like my second brother. He smiles sadly at me,

"You got taller."

I shrug, "So did you."

He smiles a little bigger, and flexes his muscles.

"Yeah . . . " He wiggles his eyebrows, and I can't take it.

I just start laughing. Paul soon follows. I clutch my stomach, and lean over a little. Paul takes the opportunity, and pulls me into a headlock, rubbing his knuckles along my scalp. I yelp, and punch his side. He winces, but keeps going.

"Paul, let her go." Sam says, a light laugh in his voice.

I feel Paul sigh, and he lets me go. I give him a murderous glare, and hit the back of his head with as much force as possible. He yelps, and I see Sam and Emily watching us amused behind him.

"Anyway . . . . Yeah, we grow every time someone new phases. Our size helps us determine order."

"Ah . . " I say nodding, and shove Paul a little.

He chuckles and shoves me back. We follow this routine until we get to the door, and he gets shoved into the door frame, causing it to crack. Paul jumps up like someone sticked him with a hot poker, and looks back at a glaring Sam and Emily. His eyes are wide, and his mouth open and closes like a fish, and he frantically gestures to the door, me and himself. Then, he starts stuttering,

"I-I . . We were . . I was a-a . . . It was an accident!" He finally screeches, holding his hands up in surrender.

Emily stomps up to Paul, and whacks him in the back of the head. I wince as the loud clap reaches my ears. Then, she comes over to me, and does the same. I scowl at her, and I expect people to chuckle or full on laugh. But no. Their heads are down, avoiding Emily. _I guess everyone's seen Em like this. Not just me. Thank god for that. _

_"Anyway . . . _Muffins!" Emily yells happily, placing the muffins on the table.

Everyone laughs, shaking their heads at her mood swings. Then, quickly devouring the muffins.


	5. Chapter 5

_Joe POV_

I look in the bathroom mirror as Emily washes off the scissors she used to cut my hair. She just wanted to cut my hair along the jaw line. Or at least near there. But, I didn't want to be singled out more than I already am. So I decided on a pixie cut. Not exactly a buzz-cut, like the boys. But a nice, girly, short hair cut, that makes me blend in a little more.

**(A/N: Google The Haircut:** /pin/23925441739893386/** )**

I sigh, and run my hand through the short, black, hairs. And nod at Emily. She smiles and we walk out of the bathroom. It takes a minute to tear myself away from the mirror. I look the same, but really different. My features are more angular, and sharper. My sight, hearing, smell and even taste are better. And now I eat like a pig. My body is completely ripped out from head to toe, more than before. And Emily measured my height. I'm not 6'1.

I see the boys measuring their heights, and writing them down. Their heads turn to me, and they gape. My cross my arms over my chest, and lean against the hallway corner.

"Problem?" I ask bluntly, glaring at them.

_I'm still pissed. At all of you._

They shake themselves off, and mumble apologies. "How tall are you?" Sam asks gruffly.

"Six-one." I say quietly.

He nods, "Tall."

I don't answer, but Paul does.

"Ehh, we're taller." He says, cocky as usual.

"Can I see the sheet?" I ask straightening up.

Sam nods, and hands me the sheet.

_Sam : 6'4 Alpha_

_Jared : 6'3 Beta_

_Paul : 6'3 2nd Beta _

_Embry : 6'2 Backup Beta_

_Jake : 6'3 3rd Beta _

_Joe : 6'1 Tracker/Runner_

I nod, and hand it back to Sam.

"You'll defiantly be the fastest, but the shortest." Sam says, probably thinking I'm upset about my height.

I shrug, and walk over to help Emily cook. She smiles gratefully. There is a moment of silence, before Sam speaks up again.

"Jake will probably be as tall, or taller than me because he's meant to be Alpha." My stomach twists at his name, ad I try to hide the pain on my face.

But Emily sees it, and she rubs my arm affectionately. Thankfully, no one else notices. I make my face blank, and keep chopping vegetables.

"So, the order goes . . . Me, Jared, Paul, Jake, Embry, then Joe. Got it?"

"So I'm beta still?" Jared asks, seeming confused.

Sam nods, and Jared frowns. But drops the subject.

"I got moved down?" Embry says sadly.

Sam is about to answer, but I interject.

"It's okay Embry. We can be lower class together." I say bitterly, glaring at Sam.

Embry's sadness quickly disappears, and he gives me a pitying look. But I just glare at Sam, and go back to chopping vegetables. Sam decides to be all 'I am the Alpha. Do not disrespect me. I am better than you.' And actually say something that will make me feel worse.

"Actually. Embry's the third Beta. _You _are the tracker, who will find who we're hunting so we can attack. Because you are female, it will be easier. And you are the runner, who will run the vampire away, or towards us. Because you are the fastest."

Everyone sucks in a breath, knowing that it was defiantly the wrong thing to say. Even Emily grimaces, and takes a step back as I start to shake. I slam the knife down into the cutting board, and walk out side. Taking the door off it's hinges. I start to jog to the forest, phasing in anger when I'm halfway there.

_I'm the lowest in the pack! I'm basically bait for the goddamn vampires, or I'm just leading them to it, so they can attack! _I fume in anger, sprinting through the forest at an amazing speed.

It when the sun finally started to go down. And the starts began to come out on the dark, night sky . . . When I cam to a resolution.

_I will work harder than anyone. Run faster. Kill better. Patrol better. And __**be **__better than anyone else in that pack. I __**will not **__be the typical bullied baby wolf. I will prove myself . . . . ._

I nod to myself, and let out a deep, loud howl. It's laced with anger and sadness. . . .


	6. Chapter 6

_Joe POV_

_2 WEEKS LATER_

**We've got to go pick up Jake guys. He's probably at home. **

Why isn't he here already? Quil, the newest member of the pack asks.

He just phased two days ago, and is already in a higher ranking than me.

**Joe-**

_Drop it Sam. _I snarl, before phasing back, and pulling on my clothes.

The boys follow me, and we walk out in a line. Just as we get to the edge of the trees, I notice a big, red, truck in Jake's driveway. My eyebrows crunch together in confusion. I glance over, and see Jared and Paul doing the same. But Quil and Embry look nervous, like they've seen the truck before. Sam lets out a howl, signaling Jake to wake up.

We see something shift in Jake's room, but I still hear Jake snoring. Seconds later, a short, thin little brunette girl comes storming out. She has brown, doe eyes. That are set in a glare. Her nose is narrow, as is pretty much the rest of her body. I recognize her from Jake's thoughts. . . . _Bella. _

She comes storming up to us, a sneer on her face.

"What did you do?!" She screams, then pushes Sam back. He stumbles, surprised.

Paul and I both snarl, and take a step towards _Bella. _

"Easy!" Sam growls, pushing us back.

"What did you do?! He didn't want this!" She screams again, looking at each of us.

Paul and I's lips curl, both hating _Bella_ for two reasons. One, she's a bloodsuckers lover. Two, she's the reason Jake is denying the imprint.

"What did we do?" I snarl in disbelief.

"What did he do huh? What did he tell you?" Paul asks, taking another step towards Bella.

Sam pushes him back to me, then _Bella_ screams again.

"Nothing! He tells me _nothing _because he's scared of you!" Her abnormally high, really annoying voice, gets even higher.

There is a moment of silence, before everyone starts laughing. Paul and I laugh the hardest. Mostly because of how stupid the bitch is. Then . . .

She slaps me.

The bitch _slaps _me across the face.

There is silence. Absolute silence. Then, I start to shake.

"Joe calm down!" Sam says, stepping away from me.

Deep, threatening, growls rip through my chest.

"Bella get back! Joe calm down now!" Sam yells, but it all seems to fade.

I see red, and I just want to rip the girl apart.

"Too late now," Embry remarks behind me.

I feel a burning pain in my back, and the painful sensation rips through me. I hunch over, and then. I feel the fur burst through my skin. My bones quickly popping, and changing. The familiar rip of my clothes as I grow too big for them. Then, I look up. Bella is on the ground, looking frightened.

_Mother fucking Bitch! She thinks she can just slap me and get away with it! No bitch! You're dead!_

I take a step towards her, growling.

"Bella!" I look up to see Jake hop over the back railing of his deck.

He runs towards me. Bella runs towards him.

"Jake! Jake run!" She screams at him.

I nearly laugh again, _like her would RUN from us!? Idiot!_

_No kidding._ I hear a voice say behind me.

I look over and see Paul. Looking ready to murder Bella. I didn't even notice he phased too.

_Yeah, right after you. _He says, still glaring at Bella.

I hear a rip, and see Jake, in mid-air, as a wolf. I realize he did a power jump over Bella. Who now is staring at Jake with wide eyes, looking fearful. Jake lands in front of me, and places his feet apart. Letting out a threatening, loud roar the echo's through the woods behind us.

**Back off! **He screams.

_Oh! Now you're protecting the fucking leach lover! _I scream at him.

He roars again, an lunges. But, right as I'm about to attack back, Paul interferes. He jumps on Jake, and they land a few feet away from Embry. I can barely make out their arguing in my head, it's mostly barks and whimper. hey slam into Billy's boat, and roll into the forest. It's quiet.

Sam sighs, "Take Bella back to Emily's." He shouts as an Alpha order.

Sam nods at me, clearly trying to contain his anger. Before running after Paul and Jake. I sigh and walk behind Quil and Embry as they go to Bella.

"Looks like the wolf's out of the bag," Quil jokes.

I snort, and Embry sticks out a hand to help Bella up.

**It's not my fault that BITCH tried to attack MY BELLA! **

And I freeze.


	7. Chapter 7

_Joe POV_

It's silent. Everything is silent. My ears fall back, to the side of my head. My eyes are wide, and I can feel them glazing over with unshed tears. I take a step back, whimpering. Embry, Quil and a now standing Bella look at me confused. But I just stare at Bella. In jealousy. In envy. In_ anger. _In sadness.

**Joe? **Sam ask hesitantly, and I know he can feel the pain radiating through my body.

Embry takes a cautious step towards me, and that's when the pain, rips through me. I let out a yelp, and curl into myself.

Somehow, I end up laying down. I hear Embry and Quil shouting my name. And Sam and Paul shouting in my head. I let out a howl of pain, but it turns into a scream as my body shifts back on instinct.

I curl up int a ball, my arms wrapped around my stomach and chest. Screaming at the agonizing pain.

_So this is what it feels like. To have your imprint choose someone else. Claim someone else as theirs. To hate you. _

I scream again, my eyes clenching shut.

"Joe?! Joe, what happened?!"

"What's wrong with her?" I hear _Bella _ask.

"C'mon," Quil says, and I glance up and see him leading her to her truck.

I look over at Embry, with tears in my eyes. He grimaces in pain. I know that when one member of the pack is in pain, everyone is in pain. And I know everyone is at least feeling some of my pain.

His arms wrap around me, and he picks me up. I whimper in pain.

I barely register getting in the truck, or even driving. But, I do register faintly seeing Billy. Sitting in his wheelchair, looking at me in a fatherly worry. His eyes filled with sadness. I remember Sam's large big black wolf tearing out of the forest, and searching frantically for me. Then, after seeing me, taking off again, with some hesitation.

I slowly fall asleep in Embry's arms. The pain weakening me. . .

* * *

I open my eyes, and blink a few times, to get rid of the blurriness. I look around and realize I'm in my room. I wear a slightly tight, red and black plaid shirt, buttoned up, but leaving two at the tp open. Almost revealing my bra. I also wear short-ish jean shorts. I smile a little and get up quietly. Pushing past the now numb pain. I walk downstairs,

"Check it! We can hear each others thoughts too!" Quil says to Bella.

"Quil!" I chastise, walking to the table and slapping him in the back of his head.

He yelps, and I hear Emily chuckle.

"You okay?" Embry, the sweet one of the pack, asks me.

I smile sadly at him, and nod. I look over at _Bella_, who nibbles on her muffin. I growl lowly, but don't attack. I flop down on one of the chairs.

"Anyway! Dude! These are trade secrets! This chick runs with vampires!" Embry yells at Quil.

"Well, you can't really run with vampires. Because they're _fast._" _Bella _cuts in, in a tone seemingly snotty. Like she knows everything.

Emily snickers at Quil. I snort, putting my muffin down.

"Yeah?" I turn my head to look at her, giving her a death glare she flinched under. "Well, we're faster."

"Freaked out yet?" Embry asks her, trying to get me to stop killing her with my mind.

I sigh, and go back to eating my muffin.

"You're not the first . . . monsters I've met." She takes in a shaky breath.

Just as I'm about to say something, I hear laughing outside. Sam comes jogging in, and immediately hugs me.

"I'm fine Sammy," I say in his ear, so no one else can hear it.

He pulls away, kisses my cheek, and goes over to Emily. He kisses up and down her scars, and I have to look away. Paul comes trotting in, like he owns the place, and I toss him a muffin. Smiling. He catches it, and walks past _Bella_. Sitting down next to me. He looks up at Bella, smirking.

"Sorry," he says, totally sarcastic.

I snort again, "You should have eaten her." I say, completely serious.

_Bella_ looks offended. Paul laughs, but gets cut off by a growl in the doorway. Everyone's head snaps up, and there he stands. _In all his glory_.

_Ahh sarcasm, you gotta love it!_

I growl back, ate he glares at me. But I just glare right back. The pack tenses, but I don't want to fight. I can't fight him. I literally _can't. _

_I love him too much._

I get up, and start to walk out, 'accidentilly' pushing _Bella _on my way out_. _She stumbles, and nearly snarls at me, and I growls back, flipping him off as I jog down the steps.

My skin ripples in anger, and I phase almost instantly after I start over the hill to the forest. I glance back, and see Jake and _Bella_ walking out of the house. They are nearly holding hands, and I see _Bella _freeze. I realize she's looking at me.

I sigh, and take off sprinting.

* * *

I hear a howl, disrupting my peaceful run. It's an order to come back. I sigh, knowing that I can't disobey. . . .

OoOoOo

"Great. So the red-headed bitch-"

"Leech." Sam says, trying to stop me from cussing.

"_Bitch,_" I growl, "Is after the Leech-Lover."

Jake growls, and I snarl.

But it' Sam's growl that stops us.

"Joe, did you catch any scent on patrol?"

"Like she was actually patrolling." Jake snarls.

My fists clench, and I bite back the urge to start an argument.

"Yes, but it was the same one we caught yesterday. Old."

Sam nod, "Extra patrols from now on. And I want someone to watch Bella at all costs. _Got it?_"

"As long as it's not me I'm fine."

"_What_ is your problem with her?" Jake asks angrily.

I scoff in disbelief, "You really wanna ask me that?"

"Enough!" Sam yells, stopping Jake from saying anything else.

I growl, and sit back in my chair.

"Joe, I'll only make you watch Bella when someone else can't. Deal?"

"Deal." I say, before getting up, and walking out.

* * *

**SO! I forgot what happens next. I have a basic idea, but it's not really. . . **

**Specific.**

**Help Please!**

**(Oh! And I made a new story, it's called 'Riot' please check it out!)**


	8. Chapter 8

_Joe POV_

I patrol the border, I'm sort of out of it. Triple patrols every day are taking a toll on everyone.

And it's been a week.

We still haven't caught a scent, and adding onto the police searching the woods, this is getting harder by the second. Of course we can blame _Bella _for that. Not being able to keep her mouth shut when she saw us take down the black leech. What was his name. . ._Laurent? _Yeah, Laurent. I think he should've killed her personally.

_'Shut up and patrol!' _Jared growls at me in my head.

'You shut up! You're just pissed because this is taking up your time with your precious Kim!' I snarl back, that's all he's been going on about the whole time we've bee n here.

_'You know what!? Fuck you! You're just being a total bitch because other people our happy while your imprint fucking hates you!' _

And I freeze. Jared finally realizes what he said.

'Joe-' 

He starts, but I'm already running.

'Joe! Joe wait . . . please! I'm so-" 

I cut off his thoughts by phasing back, and throwing my clothes on. Almost ripping them as I push my limbs through them. I hear Jared phase, and he keeps shouting things at me. I ignore him and sprint to the house, wiping tears from my eyes. I rub into the house, and sprint upstairs. Ignoring the shouts and questions of the pack. I run into my room, and lock the door.

My room has a tree going through it. It's wood and old. And open. Very open.

I walk over to my bed, but before I get there, a horrible pain shoots through me. Starting at my chest, and going through my body. It feels like I can't breathe. It feels like panic and pain. I fall to my knees, gasping.

I put my hand over my chest, trying to release the pressure.

But it gets worse.

My vision starts to get blurry, and my throat starts to close up. I cough and cough. Trying to breathe. Trying to find air.

I hear some shouting and banging. But I can't answer. I can't breathe.

My lungs seem to close.

_Pain_. So much pain.

I hear a large 'bang,' then arms wrap around me. Frantic voices. Yelling. Shouting.

I feel ready to pass out.

I think I will pass out.

When suddenly, I can breathe again.

I gasp, and collapse against Sam, who was holding me.

My vision blurs, before going dark.

* * *

I slowly open my eyes, and see I'm still in my room. Except on my bed. I see my door is busted down, covered by a sheet. I sigh, and rub my throat, making sure I can breathe.

I get up, and slowly stand. Just as Sam comes in.

His face softens, and he comes over to me.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly.

I nod, "What happened?"

He grimaces, and rubs the back of his neck. And I know I'm not gonna like it.

"Jake went on patrol after you and Jared came back. He caught the leeches scent and chased after it. To the cliffs. Where he saw Bella jump off."

"Oh," I say stiffly.

"Yeah, he . . . saved her. And um . . . yeah."

"Well that's why I couldn't breath." I muse, flopping down on my bed.

"Also . . . Harry had a heart attack."

My head snaps up, "What?"

He shakes his head from side to side, tears forming in his eyes. I stand up, and hug him. He holds me tight, but he still has more news.

"Leah and Seth both phased." He says quietly.

"God, how long was I out?" I ask softly.

"Only a few hours."

"Wait . . ." His words finally hit me. "Did you say Leah?"

He nods, and I sprint downstairs. I hear Sam chuckle sadly. I get to the bottom of the stairs, and see Leah standing up and heading towards me. I pull her into a hug, and she immediately hugs me back.

"You okay?" I ask softly.

I feel her shake her head, and I just pull her tighter.

"You will be. You're gonna be okay Lee-Lee."

I hear her sob softly, and I nearly break. Leah never cries.

Ever.

* * *

We sit in silence.

I can feel anger, sadness, confusion and love through the imprint bond.

And it makes me physically hurt in the though that it's not for me.

I'd even take the anger towards me. But no.

It's something else.

Leah leans against my right shoulder, while Seth leans against my left. I've always been close to these two. Even after all the shit that happened with phasing and Emily and Sam's drama, we've still had each other.

"Where the hell is Jake?!" Sam roars, slamming the phone down, braking the receiver.

I sigh, "Sam, that's the third phone this month."

Sam glares, but smiles a little.

"Sorry," he mutters, leaning over the counter, his head in his hands.

Emily tries to comfort him, but Jake's absence is bothering everyone. I rub my chest as Jake's anger spikes so much, I can feel it more than anything else. All I want to do is comfort him, but I won't. I can't. _He doesn't love me. _

I nearly phase right then and there at the force my wolf roars inside of me.

I notice everyone looking at me in worry.

"Jake?" Sam asks, clearly worried.

I nod, "He's really angry," I croak out.

And almost to prove my point, Embry comes sprinting in,

"It's Jake. . . .Bella left."


	9. Chapter 9

_Jake POV_

_I cannot belive it! She left me for the leech! Me! For the bloodsucking bastard! _

I scream to no one in particular in my head. I go through the forest, attacking anyone that comes near me and any tree that comes into view. I can only hope no one asks questions about the giant claw marks running through three trunks and the path I tore in my anger.

Suddenly, I feel Sam and . . . Joe. . . enter the packmind. Sam quickly see's what I've done, and orders me to stop.

I growl, but am forced to stop.

_Jake, you need to clam down. _Joe says, her voice cutting through everyone elses.

I relax, and I can practically see Sam smiling.

_Sam, stop it. _Joe says softly, but ordering.

There are a few chuckles, but I think Sam stops doing whatever he was doing.

He was smirking at Joe. Paul adds, making Sam and Joe growl.

I sigh, and shake my head.

**Jake, come to my house, you have some explaining to do. **

I sigh again, and start walking. Hating the idea of the upcoming confrontation.

_C'mon, it's not gonna be that bad. _Joe says softly, before phasing back.

And somehow, that makes everything seem better.

* * *

I look down at my feet as Sam yells angrily at me. Joe looks over at me sympathetically, have been on the receiving side of his rants since they were kids, she knows how I feel. Sam lets out a frustrated breath, growls, and flops down on his couch. Seemingly exhausted from his rant.

Joe lets out a chuckle, and goes over to him.

"I think he's had enough bro," she says quietly, kissing his cheek, before walking outside.

I look over at Sam, and see a soft smile on his face as he watches his little sister walk away.

"You should follow her," he points out.

My head whips to him, and I shake my head, looking back at the door.

"I'm just saying, you should. Just make sure she doesn't see you."

I bite my lip, and before I can even think it over, I'm jogging to catch where she's going.

I hear a chuckle behind me, but I ignore it.

* * *

I follow her to the shed we're never allowed in. It's medium-sized in the backyard. She walks in, and silently closes the door. I follow silently, and go over to the window near the side. I realize it's open, and I smile. I peek through, and see paint. So much paint. And blank canvases. But then, I get a glimpse at a finished piece, and my jaw drops. Its. . . amazing. Beautiful. Just. . .Incredible. From what I can see, it's a couple. Walking together on a street. On the left side, there is tree's in vibrant colors, with street lamps between them. And on the other, one tree with missing leaves, and rain pours down. _**(A/N: On My Profile.) **_

_If one is like that. . .what are the other ones like? _I think in awe.

No wonder Sam never let us come in here. And how he wanted me to make sure she didn't notice I was following. It's her private space.

I hear her 'hmm' slightly, then, I hear music come on. 'Save Me' by Nicki Minaj plays over a small radio on the table.

No, I Jacob Black, don't like Nicki Minaj, and from what I've heard, neither does Joe. But this song . . . is good. It's actually. . . really . . . _beautiful. _And I'm not one to call a song beautiful. Especially a Nicki Minaj song.

I see her smile, and she pulls her hair up into a high ponytail.

She hums in time with the music to the chourse, and picks up a paintbrush. She dips it in some brown colored paint, and she starts making another masterpiece.

I smile at her, and finally. Finally, I can look past Bella. And see the girl I'm suppose to love.

But will it work?

After everything I've put her through, will it work?

Some of my thinks it will, but most of me has doubts.

I'll try though. Of course I will. I'll fight, because she deserves it. She deserves someone to love, and cherish her like a good imprint should.

And I'll try to to be a good imprint.

I will try. I will fight.

For Her.

* * *

About an hour hs passed, and I sit behind the shed, just watching her. She now listens to 'Papercut' by Linkin Park, and I smile at our similar choice in music. It's quite the change from the first song, but she doesn't look like she minds.

I look back at the other paintings I can see. And to say I'm amazed is an understatement.

There is one. With the Quileute pack symbol in the middle, then colors shift around it. I can see every color of our fur. Black, Sam's. A russet red for me. Silver for Paul. A dark grey for Leah. Just, all of us. And mixed in with the colors, are scratches. Like Emily's scars. They go through the canvas like an animal actually attacked it. And in a couple places, I see blood red handprints.

I realize she must've painted it right after she phased, because that's _exactly_ how I was feeling after the first shift.

Then, next to it, a heart. With chains and a lock put around it. It's in a black background, and some of the black _bleeds _into the heart, like poison. And it doesn't take long to figure it out.

Her heart, was locked down. And Black, my last name, meaning me, bleeds into the heart. Infecting it.

There is another of three vampires.

_Wait. What?! _

They're on a cliff edge. Two dark black paws hang over the edge, like they're hanging on for life. Red paint, blood, is covering the black. One of the vampires is black, with black dreadlocks, and dark red eyes. He wears somewhat of older clothing. A orange leather jacket, with a ripped tank top under it, and black pants. The other two are holding hands. One of them with blonde hair and dark red eyes. His lips are curled in a snarl, and he wears a leather jacket with no shirt, and ripped baggy pants. The one he's holding hands with is a woman. With wild, fiery red hair flowing past her shoulders. She wears a half tank top with a fur coat and skin-tight jeans.

I'm confused by that one.

There are only two black wolves.

Sam and Joe.

And those vampires are very detailed. Not just . . . imagined.

_What the hell? _

* * *

**_FINALLY HE SEES SENSE!_**

**_Right? _**


	10. Chapter 10

_Jake POV_

"That was the nightmare she had the night she phased. She had woken up from it." Sam says, looking up at me from the couch as I pace in front of him.

"You think it means something?" I ask, stopping to look at him.

"It was just a nightmare Jake." Sam sighs, looking at me in worry and confusion.

"But they were so _detailed _Sam. It was . . . creepy."

"She's a great artist." Sam says with a shrug.

I sigh, and go over to the kitchen; still thinking about the odd, amazing painting. I grab a muffin and slowly eat it, something I never do.

Then . . . it hits me. . .

I nearly choke on the muffin I've eaten as I jump up, the chair falls backward.

"Jake?" Sam asks confusion.

"_Red headed . . . female . . .vampire!_" I choke out between coughs.

"Victoria?" Sam asks confused, almost immediately on alert at the mention of her name.

"_The painting!_" I shout at him, "It's Victoria!"

Sam looks confused, before his eyes go wide, and he sprints out the back door. I grab a bottle of water, and chug it. I'm finally able to breathe again, and I sigh in relief. But it quickly goes away when I feel anger flash through the imprint bond.

_Or what little's left of it. _

I sigh, and bang my head against the counter.

_I'm such an idiot. _

_I was so absorbed in Bella that I didn't see what was right in front of me. . ._

But I'm gonna change that now.

I'm going to try harder, and work harder than I ever had to get this girl.

But I have this nagging feeling in my jut that just says,

_This is gonna be harder than I thought. . ._

* * *

_Joe POV_

I fight the urge to punch Sam as he goes on and on about my painting. And how I _'didn't tell him sooner'_ and all this shit. It's just like _'what the fuck?' _First off, this is my _private area_; he's not allowed to just . . . _barge in! _Second, he's badgering me about something I didn't even realize! Like I said. . .

_What. The. Fuck. _

"How the hell was I suppose to know it was Victoria?!" I practically scream, finally loosing my temper as I jump up from the stool; shaking slightly.

"It isn't that hard to figure out!" He growls back, stopping his rant to glare at me.

"You didn't!" I snarl, glaring back at him.

He scowls at me, and opens his mouth to say something; but I'm already sprinting to the forest line.

"Johanna!" Sam shouts, right as I phase.

I snarl, and rush into the forest; trying to get away from my life.

I've run for about thirty minutes, and I have no clue where I am. But someone finally phases.

Joey? Are you alright? Paul asks softly.

_No. _I spit back.

Instantly regretting it at his hurt. I sigh,

_Sorry bro. Bad day. _I say quietly, slowing down to a trot.

He relaxes a little, but he's still a bit sad.

You wanna talk about it? 

I sigh, and open up my thoughts. Showing him everything from today.

I've always been able to do this with Paul. Open up.

Everyone always says that Paul's a hot-headed, asshole, man whore. But once you get to know him, he treats you like family.

Once it's finished, Paul is silent.

What happened to you guys? He asks softly as a picture of Sam giving me a piggy back ride flashes through his mind. We're both laughing hysterically. It's before we phased. Sam and I's hair is still long. We're both long, small teenagers. You can practically _feel_ the love in the memory.

I come to stop next to a sympathetic looking Paul.

_We turned into horse sized wolves. _I say softly.

Paul licks the side of my face, and I laugh, nipping his ear. He snorts, but in his wolf form, it comes out like he's sucking a lot of snot in.

We both freeze, and look at each other.

Before bursting out in laughter.

I'm glad some things are the same. . .

* * *

_Jake POV_

I hear the back door slam closed, and Sam storms in. He pushes past me to the kitchen, and grabs his own bottled water, chugging it down. I notice his hands shaking. I sigh, and decide not to say anything.

I get up, and walk outside.

I'm about to go to the woods, when I see Joe's studio door open.

I sigh, contemplating going in or not.

I finally decide to go in.

I sprint to the shed, and stop outside the door.

_This isn't a good idea._

But, I can't help it. I go in.

I walk slowly, admiring all the paintings. Skipping over the one's I saw from outside, and focusing on the others.

I see an extremely detailed one of Emily and Sam; hugging. Then one of me.

And I stop.

A newly finished painting sits in the center of the room. It's a painting, like the others. . .

But the way she painted it. . .

There's something different about the way it's painted. It's somehow . . . different . . .

I don't know how long I just stand there, staring at the large canvas with the color swirling in it and the detail popping out like real life; but I still don't understand why it's _so _different.

I sigh, and step closer.

I take a close look at the brush strokes and the way it's painted.

I take a few steps back; still trying to figure it out.

I look at the other paintings, but this one just. . . stands out.

But then, like the way the realization of it being Victoria in the other painting, or the realization that I was stupid to belive Bella.

It hit's me.

It's the way the brush strokes are longer and more careful than the others. It's the way the eyes are practically alive; and how every little thread and every little line and detail is absolutely realistic and incredibly detailed.

_It's me._

She painted me.

_She __painted me. . . _

And somehow that gives me the smallest sliver of hope.

Hope that I _can _do this.

I can win over my imprint, and stop fawning over someone I'm never going to get. I can be with who I'm suppose too. I can finally love. . .

_But how? _


	11. Announcement

**_Okay! _**

**_*Announcement!*_**

**_I am sad to say I am not happy with this story. I am not happy with how it's written or how the plot is put in line. I'm sorry I've taken so long to update, but I really don't know how or what to write for the next chapter. _**

**_No, this is not an adoption. No, the story is not being deleted. _**

**_'Falling Apart' is being put on Hiatus as I re-write the chapters._**

**_I hope you, my faithful readers, understand. _**

**_I love you all, and I'm hoping you stick with me as I re-write. _**

**_Love, _**

**_*TheFemaleLupus_**


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